Wednesday, January 12, 2011

somewhere out there

I was watching old Designing Women episodes tonight on youtube.

--I am going to let that sentence hang there for a minute---

As I was saying, I was watching Designing Women episodes on youtube tonight when, caught by the emotion of one particular episode and the song that was playing on the show, I started ugly-crying. You know ugly-crying, right? Where your face is grotesquely scrunched, bright red lines intersecting across your eyeballs, your chin is all crinkled, and the cries are more guttural than soft. Come to think of it, ugly-crying face is a lot like my morning sickness face.

It's a wonder my husband still smiles when he sees me.

Wait, what was I talking about?

Designing Women. It was MOVING.

The episode and the song on it made me think of my mom. And then I missed my husband. So I cried some. A lot, actually. Then I went back in the show and listened to the song again, and sang along. Are you getting the visual? Me, at my desktop, watching a bad recording of Designing Women on youtube, singing 'beneath the same bright star'...with a voice clogged with choking cries And so the visual is accurate, my desk is underneath my window, and as I was sing-crying, I looked up and saw the moon, and it was all very touching. Very.

Anyway, rather than share the whole episode (it was the one where Charlene gave birth while her military husband was absent, the one Dolly Parton was in), I thought I'd share the song.

Gosh, that show was so great.

Is it weird that a song from the 80's that was featured on Designing Women dug out such intense emotion tonight? Don't answer. I'll just cling to this quote for now and go download this song from itunes (on my phone, not my laptop, because my computer is still not showing signs of life). It's just a boo hoo kind of night.

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love."

Washington Irving

And the song I know you are just dying to sing along to...

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