Monday, January 10, 2011

Not ME!!! Monday!

It's been a while since I have shared all of the things I have haven't done during the course of wife and mommyhood. Some of you know MckMama, the blogger who started the whole Not ME! Monday carnival. Well, she stopped writing the Not ME! posts, but that doesn't mean we have to stop, too.

So, here I go, hopping back in the NOT ME saddle......

This past week, I felt particularly swamped with work. Wanting to make sure I got everything done in a timely manner, I dwindled my sleep down and wasn't going to bed until after 1am, sometimes closer to 2 am. Going on little sleep and feeling my head fizzle one brainwave at a time, I realized I better double check to make sure things were taken care of with my boss. So, I texted her to check on one particular task. I am a double triple quadruple spell-checker, so it was NOT ME who sent this misspelled and highly offensive text to the lady who signs my paycheck.

one for the dyac site!

We made a quick trip to Publix after a lot of running around on Saturday to get the stuff I needed to make PW's meatballs, which I talked about HERE. As soon as I loaded my two littles into the cart, I felt parched and needed a drink-- but not of water. Seriously, the desire for Dr. Pepper was primal. I headed to the fountain drink area in the deli and got a cup. Sure enough, Tyler, Kaiti, and Jack asked for one. I said no, but let them each have one sip of mine. Well, Jack REALLY liked my Dr. Pepper, and kept asking for more. Then he tried grabbing at it. So, I made the wise (hahaha) decision to put the soda in the basket so he would not be tempted. Can you guess what happened? One quick turn of the cart, and the Dr. Pepper went flying, full cup minus 5 sips, and spilled all over the dang aisle. Totally my fault. Embarrassed and frustrated, I scooted my kids out of the way and went to go tell an employee about the spill. An employee showed up with a mop, looking a little irritated, and said "It's alright. Kids spill drinks all the time." I assure you, I did NOT reply with "Yep, I will tell my kids to be more careful." Tyler was not amused. 

You know how it's winter? And cold? (Some people might not have known.......) Well, I always keep my children properly dressed, outside AND INSIDE. Not to mention, I always make sure we are fully clothed regardless of being in the home all day. So it was NOT ME!!! who let my little guy run around like this for hours....

he IS wearing a diaper.........around his knees :)

Have you ever had an impromptu photo shoot in your bathroom, in dim lighting, using the camera from your cell phone because your husband requested photos of YOU and not just the kids? Yeah, ME NEITHER!!!!

In an email to my husband, I told him how much I stink at housework the first week after he deploys. Well, now we are in the 2nd week of this deployment, and I am doing much better now. This is most certainly NOT MY couch!

just keepin' it real folks
I am all about the multi-tasking, so when I am breastfeeding Evie, I am usually doing something playing Words on my phone, emailing my husband, or overseeing schoolwork. A few days ago, Tyler left a book he was reading on the coffee table so I picked it up and read along. I found the material so unfunny and very childish. So it was NOT THIS MAMA who tiptoed who into her son's room to sneak the book out so I could finish reading where I left off.

I don't care who you are, that's funny ;)
By now y'all know how I am the most mature, most serious girl and that I have always been this way. (like when I shared with you about the comical gratification I got out of breaking my middle finger in 6th grade). So this should come as no surprise to you..... When I saw a middle-aged guy getting out of his convertible (because, you know, winter is the ideal time to drive around with your car's top down!) at Target, after he just revved his engine to get the coveted first spot, only to get out of his car, turn around and run smack dab into a shopping cart, I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants kept a totally straight face and hoped he did not hurt himself.

The End! Happy NOT ME!! Monday!!

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