Tyler: Mom, how many hours am I at school?
Me: I think about six. Why?
Tyler: Well, just so you know, I must have been in the bathroom for two hours today.
Me: Lovely. Thanks for sharing that with me honey.
Tyler: Not because of thaaaaaaat. Because my jeans were to tight so I had to 'just 'em, and I 'justed him from a 1 to a 2, but it took a while, and people kept knockin' on the door, and I kept yelling 'Just a MINUTE! Let me take care-a my business!'
Kaiti: Right now we have 1, 2, 3 boys (she counted daddy-- I don't have a secret son)
Me: Yep, that's right.
Kaiti: And we only have 1, 2 girls. 'Cause I don't want to count the cats.
Me: Yes, in our family, we have 2 girls, not counting cats.
Kaiti: So the baby in your belly is a girl.
Me: Why do you think that?
Kaiti: Because we have 3 boys and only 2 girls and it's not fair if we don't get another girl, so we can have 3 and 3.
Me: Well, Kaiti, I told you that God gives us what He thinks is best for our family, and we have to trust God.
Kaiti: But I know that God is good and fair, so we are really gonna get a girl.
-- boy, am I gonna have a hard time explaining that one if it's a boy--
Tyler: [whispering] Why does daddy call Kaiti a princess?
Me: Because she is his little princess.
Tyler: She doesn't seem like a princess.
Me: Oh yeah? Why is that?
Tyler: She doesn't do magical things and doesn't act like any of the princesses I heard of.
Me: Well, not all princesses are the same. Some princesses run around with bare feet, play in the mud, and like to hold bugs. Like Kaiti does.
Tyler: Are you just making all that up? I won't tell her, Mom, but it seems like you are making that up. And if she was a real princess, I think she should flush the toilet.
Kaiti: Mama, lets move to Washington.
Me: Okay. We can think about that.
Kaiti: Do you think we'll see him?
Me: Who?
Kaiti: George Washington. You know, the guy on the one dollar.
Me: No, Kaiti, I don't think we'll see him.
Kaiti: Oh, okay. Well, I still want to go.
Tyler: A package came! A package came, Mama!
Me: Yea! I wonder what it is?
Tyler: Can we open it now? --already tearing the box open- What is this?
Me: Yea!!! It's our address stamp that I ordered a month ago.
Tyler: I don't get it. What does it do?
Me: It stamps our name and address on envelopes so mommy does not have to write it a gajillion times.
Tyler: Okay. But how is that fun for me????
--- and the grand finale ( I apologize if the crassness of this one offends you), from my little lady, no less
Kaiti: Mommy, I think I just tooted.
Me: You think, or you know?
Kaiti: I am pretty sure I did. Because my bootie made a loud noise and now it's stinky. Really, it is.
Me: Niiiicce. I hope you said excuse me.
Kaiti: Okay. Excuse me. ---she paused for a bit, then said-------------: Boy, I wish Daddy was home to hear that one.
4 comments:
Shannon, you never cease to crack me up. I miss you guys!!!!
I laughed and laughed at these. Especially the last one! I hope I didn't wake up my kids because they were so funny I was laughing out loud. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
LLLOOOOOVVVEEEE that last one!!!!!!! Oh, and let Tyler know that princesses don't flush toilets... they have people that do that for them! :) Thanks for sharing - I needed the laugh more than I realized!
Hi Shannon
Your writing is alway entertaing, you are a gifted writer and your children offer so much material to work with. So princesses should always flush!
Go well
John
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