NOT ME!! Monday

Time to share all the things we have NOT done this week. Feel free to join in on the fun!

While whipping up 2 separate dinners- one for the kids, and one for me- my sweet 6-year-old son did NOT yell out, ‘Mom, why is Jack eating a stick of butter?’ And upon hearing such a thing, I certainly would NOT have asked Tyler to remove the butter from his little brother’s hands and get a baby wipe to clean up the mess. I would NEVER ask my son to do my job! And while older son was cleaning off younger son, I certainly was NOT thinking in my head, ‘I was wondering where that stick of butter went…..at least I am NOT losing my mind.’

About a week ago, my husband was getting the kids dressed in the morning to go get some breakfast. As I walked out of my room, I did NOT bust out laughing at the sight of my sweet daughter, wearing her little brother’s khaki pants. My husband handed them to Kaiti, who obligingly put them on. So, my tall, thin size-5 wearing daughter did NOT turn her little brother’s 2T khaki pants into some very interesting Bermuda shorts. But hey, the waist fit her perfectly!

I certainly did NOT do a joyous happy dance when I heard back from my OB that I don’t have (really, I don’t have) gestational diabetes. I had been trying to follow the heart association’s food guide, but was still really worried about getting GD—which would mean no smoothies for the duration of the pregnancy. Oh, the travesty of being pregnant without drinking a nice, thick strawberry-orange-banana smoothie!!

Oh, and let me share with you the letter we received from Tyler’s school. It roughly stated that my son had been tardy for 4 days over the past 45 school days, and if he was late one more time, my husband and I would be forced to attend a meeting instructing us about the effects of tardiness and how the Duval County School Board does not stand for such things. I was so ticked after reading the letter, but I certainly DID NOT draft my own letter up that went something like this..

   ‘Dear School People, I appreciate you taking a concern in my sons attendance and wanting him to receive the most out of his classroom environment- despite the fact you saw fit to move him to another classroom not even 50 days into the school year. I can assure you, we strive to get Tyler to school every morning, but my morning sickness sometimes means we are 5 minutes late. As much as I have explained to the hormones raging through my body that vomit is no excuse for being late, I still find myself hugging the toilet 4 mornings a week. I will discuss it with my hormones again, and I apologize deeply if my son walking in 4 minutes late is such a disruption. I assure you, I am doing my best to conquer the morning sickness, but as my doctor’s have told me, when it comes to pregnancy and sickness, it is really out of my hands. Rest assured, I am told it will go away sometime before this child is born. Thanks again for your concern. Kindly, Shannon N.’

Finally, when the phone rang this morning a little after 4am, after swallowing a lump in my throat as big as Texas (who calls with GOOD news at 4am?) I was NOT incredibly relieved to find out it was only our city’s storm warning system, warning us of a tornado warning in our area. And I was NOT kinda-sorta hoping that the wind would knock out our power so I might have a more ‘valid’ excuse, you know, just in case we did not make it out the door on time. So, I give you my word, I did NOT stick out my bottom lip when I heard Jack calling me from his crib this morning, only to open my eyes and see that, much to chagrin, our lights were on which meant we did not lose power. Bummer.