Friday, January 8, 2010

out of the mouths of babes

My kids can get lippy.....and for the life of me, I cannot figure out where they get it from. Oh, but the things they say. Here are a few of the highlights that stand out in my mind.....

Tyler: Mom, how many hours am I at school?

Me:    I think about six. Why?

Tyler: Well, just so you know, I must have been in the bathroom for two hours today.

Me:    Lovely. Thanks for sharing that with me honey.

Tyler: Not because of thaaaaaaat. Because my jeans were to tight so I had to 'just 'em, and I 'justed him from a 1 to a 2, but it took a while, and people kept knockin' on the door, and I kept yelling 'Just a MINUTE! Let me take care-a my business!'

Kaiti:  Right now we have 1, 2, 3 boys (she counted daddy-- I don't have a secret son)

Me:   Yep, that's right.

Kaiti: And we only have 1, 2 girls. 'Cause I don't want to count the cats.

Me:   Yes, in our family, we have 2 girls, not counting cats.

Kaiti: So the baby in your belly is a girl.

Me:   Why do you think that?

Kaiti: Because we have 3 boys and only 2 girls and it's not fair if we don't get another girl, so we can have 3 and 3.

Me:   Well, Kaiti, I told you that God gives us what He thinks is best for our family, and we have to trust God.

Kaiti: But I know that God is good and fair, so we are really gonna get a girl.
-- boy, am I gonna have a hard time explaining that one if it's a boy--

Tyler: [whispering] Why does daddy call Kaiti a princess?

Me:   Because she is his little princess.

Tyler: She doesn't seem like a princess.

Me:    Oh yeah? Why is that?

Tyler: She doesn't do magical things and doesn't act like any of the princesses I heard of.

Me:   Well, not all princesses are the same. Some princesses run around with bare feet, play in the mud, and like to hold bugs. Like Kaiti does.

Tyler: Are you just making all that up? I won't tell her, Mom, but it seems like you are making that up. And if she was a real princess, I think she should flush the toilet.

Kaiti: Mama, lets move to Washington.

Me:   Okay. We can think about that.

Kaiti: Do you think we'll see him?

Me:   Who?

Kaiti: George Washington. You know, the guy on the one dollar.

Me:   No, Kaiti, I don't think we'll see him.

Kaiti: Oh, okay. Well, I still want to go.

Tyler: A package came! A package came, Mama!

Me:    Yea! I wonder what it is?

Tyler: Can we open it now? --already tearing the box open- What is this?

Me:    Yea!!! It's our address stamp that I ordered a month ago.

Tyler: I don't get it. What does it do?

Me:    It stamps our name and address on envelopes so mommy does not have to write it a gajillion times.

Tyler: Okay. But how is that fun for me????

--- and the grand finale ( I apologize if the crassness of this one offends you), from my little lady, no less

Kaiti: Mommy, I think I just tooted.

Me:   You think, or you know?

Kaiti: I am pretty sure I did. Because my bootie made a loud noise and now it's stinky. Really, it is.

Me:   Niiiicce. I hope you said excuse me.

Kaiti: Okay. Excuse me. ---she paused for a bit, then said-------------: Boy, I wish Daddy was home to hear that one.


Sherri said...

Shannon, you never cease to crack me up. I miss you guys!!!!

Virginia (Jenny) said...

I laughed and laughed at these. Especially the last one! I hope I didn't wake up my kids because they were so funny I was laughing out loud. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

Kathy said...

LLLOOOOOVVVEEEE that last one!!!!!!! Oh, and let Tyler know that princesses don't flush toilets... they have people that do that for them! :) Thanks for sharing - I needed the laugh more than I realized!

Ray-Ray said...

Hi Shannon
Your writing is alway entertaing, you are a gifted writer and your children offer so much material to work with. So princesses should always flush!
Go well


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...