Monday, January 4, 2010

I count them daily

I have been watching a lot of 'White Christmas'. 'Tis the the season, definitely. But, Christmas time or not, that movie warms my heart because it is something I grew up watching, something my parents, sister and I loved.

In one scene in that movie, Bing Crosby is sitting at the piano and sings a song. 'When I'm worried, and I can't sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep. And I fall asleep counting my blessings.' Yes, I know the lyrics are not particularly creative. Maybe that's why I love singing them. Or maybe it is just the recollection of Mr. Crosby's voice. Whatever. I sing that song a lot lately, both out loud and in my head. And I count my blessings not just to fall asleep. I count them on car rides. I count them while putting dishes away. I count them when I am in the shower. I coun-- oh----okay, you get it.

Today, I am counting them here.

My blessings............ the most amazing man in the world that I get to be married to.

These children, with their laughter, wit, and playful personalities, with minds and tongues that are sharp as tacks, that I get the pleasure of loving and growing.

My mom, who I believe is loving me, loving us, so completely from Heaven, and who used her time here on earth to teach us all what true, all encompassing, selfless love is.

My sister- our relationship is special and I have never felt closer to her than I have in the past few years, and she inspires me with the creative ways she parents and finds fun with her kids.

My dad and my mother-in-law, who treat my children like they are the most exceptional people they have ever met and smother them with love (in the most wonderful way).

 My friends, who let me talk and say what I have to say, and withhold judgement and opinions....most of the time :)

Carrie, Billie Jo, and Ellie, who shared a moment in time with me, who lifted me up when things were a struggle, with their words, phone calls, lunch dates, beach dates, and everything in between. Their company, their friendship filled voids when Jeremiah was away from us.

My God, who loves me unconditionally, who believes in me when I have given Him reason to question, and knows me and knows my heart. He who has blessed me tremendously and He who has given me an eternal place in His home.

My hands, which are not particularly skilled at any one thing, but are crafty enough to fashion bows and tutus for my only daughter, tickle my littlest to sleep, and build forts cool enough to make my oldest think I am amazing.

My home. It may not be the biggest, the newest, or outfitted with the greatest appliances, but it is where I have brought all three children home, have welcomed family, and provided a place for game nights, thrown birthday parties, poker nights, and countless playdates with those who are dearest to me. It has protected me from ravaging storms, cooled me from the sweltering summer heat, and kept us safe and comforted me within its walls while my husband was in a land far away.

But , if I am being truly honest, there are other less conventional, less sugary-sweet, blessings I count, too.

Those other job. Not because I feel blessed to be working, to be using my brain, to be earning money in these challenging economic times, but because (again, I am being VERY forthcoming) it is nice to have a 4-hour break from my kiddos once a week. Forgive me. And I am thankful for being pregnant, because for 9 months I am not focused on losing weight, but on growing a child. Again, forgive me. I am thankful for blogger. Because here I can have a voice, share, vent, and just quitely let my thoughts be known and do not have to see the faces of those reading.....cause lets face it, if I were to say some of the things I have written to my mom's group, I am sure quite a few eyebrows would raise ;) I am thankful for whoever it was who decided to throw the sugar in while the water was still boiling when creating sweet tea. That little step has created the most delightful beverage, one that can turn a shabby day bright and sunny. And, finally, I am thankful for the kids that throw tantrums at grocery stores, shopping malls, restaurants, and parks. Because they make me feel like I am not such a terrible mama after all, and remind me that we all are human, and as mama's, we cannot maintain control and order all the time. Again, forgive me.

There you have it. Still love me?

'When you're worried, and you can't sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep. And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings.'

Gosh, I love that Bing.


GreenLeaf said...

I am certainly glad that I picked you as one of the people to follow as I learn to blog. The recollection of Bing Crosby's voice and the abundance of these blessings you've are very uplifting. May I be forthcoming as well, and say how wonderful it is to see how much you love your mother. I know she was a very special lady.

Kelley said...

I am just now seeing this. I love you so much Shan. You have such an amazing gift to be able to put your feelings to words in the most beautiful way. Thank you for reminding me how blessed I am...I get caught up in the sadness of missing always remind me to focus on how fortunate we were to have her for the time we did...I love you and I love your writing...


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