Kaiti: Jack, I am not happy with you. That was not a good choice. Do you hear me Mister? I am NOT happy.
-Jack stares blankly and then smiles at her
Kaiti: Fine. I will clean up what you spilled. But only this one time. Next time, you need to NOT throw your sippy cup. Got it? Okay, Mom, I think he knows now.
Me: Thanks for trying to help him learn Kaiti bug. You’re such a good big sister.
-Jack grabs his sippy cup and throws it at Kaiti, smiling the whole time-
Kaiti: Mom, something is wrong with our baby. He doesn’t listen. You better take him in.
Me: To where?
Kaiti: The doctors. They can give him some medicine to fix his listening.
Tyler: I really want that game. I had so much fun playing it at Parker’s house.
Me: I know you want it buddy, but you have to save for it. You have saved $16 from your allowance and in your piggy bank. Maybe we can find a used one.
Tyler: What else can I do so you’ll wanna get me the game?
Me: Tyler, you have to save your money, hon. That’s the way it works. (as he hugs me) I love hugs, bud, but that’s not getting you a game.
Tyler: (miffed) Why can’t you just go to the cash machine at wal greens and turn some of my dollars into twenty’s?
A lengthy discussion explaining the ‘cash machine’ YET AGAIN followed
Kaiti: So, when you saw baby Elefin in your belly, did she look like me?
Me: Kaiti, Ev-e-lyne, honey. Evelyne. Say it with me. Eh-vuh-lin.
Kaiti: El-e-fin. Did she look like me?
Me: She looked beautiful and you sure are beautiful, so yes, she looked like you.
Kaiti: Yes! I thought so. You hear that Tyler, she looked like ME!
Me: Why do you want her to look like you, honey?
Kaiti: Because that feels me special. And when you’re not around, I’ma pretend she’s mine. But don’t worry. I won’t put her in my toy bin.
Tyler: Did you see that kid chasing me, Mom? He was trying to tag me out.
Me: I saw. He was really fast. And you ran super fast, but some times kids are gonne be faster than you.
Tyler: Yeah, like that kid. I almost made it to 2nd, but then he got me, and he knocked me down.
Me: I don’t think he did it on purpose. He was just going so fast and I don’t think he could help it.
Tyler: He didn’t get me the 2nd time I hit though. I made it to 2nd, and he didn’t get me out. I ran super fast, like lightning. He couldn’t catch me.
Me: You did. And it helped that Austin hit the ball into the outfield, and not down the first base line.
Tyler: I guess. But I did run like lightning. He didn’t get me that time!
Tyler: Kaiti, help me build these train tracks.
Kaiti: I can’t get them to go together.
Me: Here, I’ll help.
Kaiti: Mommy, YOU can build train tracks?
Me: Yes. Did you think I couldn’t?
Kaiti: But you probably can’t get them to go together like Daddy.
Me: Kaiti, I CAN get them to go together like Daddy does, and I have done this with you many times.
Kaiti: But Daddy makes bridges and lots of turns. Did Daddy teach you last night when we were sleeping?
Me: Fine. Yes, last night while you all were sleeping, Daddy woke me up and brought me out to the living room to show me how to put together train tracks.
Kaiti: I thought so. Thanks for learning quietly.
Tyler: Why do you set the alarm, Mom?
Me: To keep us safe.
Tyler: I thought you said keeping us safe was your job?
Me: Well, it is, but I could use some help.
Tyler: Because you have a bunch of kids?
Me: Sure. But I don’t really have a bunch…more like a few.
Tyler: What’s the difference of a bunch and a few?
Me: You know that show I watch about the Duggar family—THAT is a bunch. We have just a few.
Tyler: So a bunch is 19?
Me: Wow, you remember they have 19 kids. How’d you get so smart?
Tyler: I eat a lot of meat.
---and Jack, making his debut-----
Me: Jack, do you need a diaper change?
Kaiti: Do you have a dirty diaper little boy?
Jack: pointing to his diaper ‘Awww, sheeeet’
….(how he says ‘Oh, shoot’—yes I know, not the best thing for me to say AND for him to repeat, but it could be worse….though it does sound like he is saying a naughty word)