Monday, October 12, 2009

Not Me! Monday

Well, if I was coming on here to participate in Not Me Monday, I might have a lot to share, but since I've done nothing this week that fell below the high standards I have set for myself as a mother, wife, and person, I most definitely DO NOT have a thing to share.

On the other hand.........
It might be fun to tell you all how my children, more than a few nights this past week, have walked around in the buff after their nightly bath because there were no pajamas to be found in the likely places.
And, they might have continued walking around (still, in the buff) aimlessly, until I directed them to the couch, were 75% of their clothing laid out in nice piles, just waiting for a mama to take them to a room and hang them up or tuck them into drawers.
And, in keeping with that story, it might be even more forthcoming to tell you that while those clothes were put away a couple days ago, another NEW pile is gathering, and gaining height as I type this very post. But since that was NOT ME, their is NO need to share such a story.

I am always paying 100% attention to my little ones-- ESPECIALLY the littlest of all, who tends to find trouble around every corner.
IF I didn't always keep my eyes peeled and focused on my babies, I might have a confession or two to share.
Like, say for example.....if, and only if, I was so busy making my gajillionth bow that was such a necessity (because, you know, a trillion bows is just not enough) that I did not notice how quiet my little Jack was.
Then, I may have been able to prevent the mess, also known as Markergate 2009, that Jack might have made while I was creating.
You see, if Markergate had actually happened, it might have involved an orange marker, a table, a couch, and precious baby face. But since I am ALWAYS aware, such a thing would NEVER have happened!

(this photo is a dramatization and was created strictly for Not Me Monday intent's and purposes)

As I mentioned, I always adhere to the highest principles in mommyhood AND wifedom. But if I fell short of my self-set expectations, I might have created a rather awkward snafu that might have been slightly mortifying for myself, my son, and some unwitting, yet gracious, man.
IF...  I was waiting for my husband to show up at the base pharmacy/clinic I might have told Tyler that his daddy had finally arrived (after spotting him through the windows) and was walking through the doors, and I might have sent Tyler to greet him.
Tyler might have been so thrilled to see his uniform-clad Daddy that he ran to give him a big,warm hug, only to find out that the man was not, in fact, his father, and just some other similarly built,  bald-headed gentleman in a flight suit.
That might have been very embarrassing for BOTH mother AND child (and said bald-headed gentleman).
And my husband, if he read my blog, might get a chuckle out of this since such a thing was not shared with him sooner. But since this DID NOT happen, and my husband (if he read my blog) knows I would never mistake him- the love of my life- for anyone else, I have NOTHING to worry about.
Because the story above is pure fiction- so, you know, this NEVER happened.

So, there you have it! A bunch of things I DID NOT, COULD NOT, WOULD NOT DO, because, as I have told you before, I am unflappable, earnestly aware, tediously tidy, and as efficient as can be. Like I even need to tell you these things......

The woman who did the things mentioned above was, without a doubt, NOT ME!!!!

What about you lovely folks? What kinds of things have you NOT done this week?

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