here we go again

Without sounding like a whiner, I've been dealing with some things that have kind of sucked the wind right out of my sails. (Wait. That still makes me a whiner, doesn't it? Darn it.)

If you know me at all or we are friends on social media, you might know that a few years ago I was diagnosed with PVNS while I was pregnant with my 5th baby, Declan. I had a golf-ball sized tumor removed from my leg shortly after he was born. And then had some complications, so I had to have another surgery. In that 2nd surgery, something happened to my femoral nerve, and severed it. Which basically means I don't have proper nerve function in my right leg, walk with a limp, and my leg often goes out. 

Basically, my leg is super awesome. But, I have had 3 years of getting back to a new normal and was doing really well. I could walk a few miles, I could run in short spurts (but not on cement because I am afraid of face planting when my leg goes out). Mostly, I was doing very well.

Until about a month ago, when I wasn't doing so well. It started with just pain occasionally. And then a lot of swelling and locking up. And then the pain got worse and worse. My chance of recurrence was very very small. But because I am an overachiever, it appears my body likes small chances. 

I am back talking with my orthopedic oncologist, have an MRI coming up, and am in good hands. 

I have spent the last week getting ahead of myself in upset. When these things recur, they are more aggressive, and I don't have much joint tissue left for doctors to remove. So that sucks. But- it is what it is, and getting frustrated doesn't change a darn thing. 

It took me a week or so, but I have finally realized it will all be okay. Even if it isn't. 

While all this was going on, my Dad came to visit (which was so good for all of us because we have not seen him in 4 years), we have battled strep throat and ear infections, my tooth broke, and my pets heads are falling off.  JK. My pets heads are doing alright. 

I am sharing here because this is my deep breath space. So. If any of my friends read this, please just know I love you all bunches and I am sorry that I checked out of life a few weeks ago. I am back in it, now, just with a bigger limp and shooting motrin every 4 hours! haha!