Monday, June 14, 2010

Outta the mouths of mama's AND daddy's AND doctor's!!!

If you spent more than a few minutes in my home, none of these comments would surprise you. In fact, I'd probably have a lot more to share with you, but they seem so normal in the moment, that only occasionally do I think- hey, I should write that down.

There are a couple things in here that came out of my husbands mouth.......I bet you can't guess which ones :)

"What do you have in your mouth? Open! Spit it out boo boo! Seriously Tyler-- how are you so sure THIS QUARTER in your brother's mouth was yours? They all have that guy on it."

"Honey, can you please take that out of Jack's hands? No, it's not just a baby wipe! It's a baby wipe he just dunked in the TOILET WATER! Because, I don't want to touch it- that's GROSS!"

"Wait right there Jack! WHAT- What do you mean 'don't worry mom, that is not poop on jack's arms and face'? What is it??? Well, why is he covered in peanut butter? Ohhhhh, honey.......... giving Jack a jar of peanut butter is not a good snack idea."

"Did you just say 'Unfortunately, mommy doesn't let snakes in the house'? Oh. Okay. Just wanted to make sure I heard that right."

"Please take your hands out from your pants. Now. We live in Florida and it's summer- there is NO WAY your hands are so cold that you need to put them in there."

"That's not funny, Jack. Stop laughing you guys. Throwing cold muffin dough at me is not funny, and you laughing at him is only encouraging him to throw more at me. STOP LAUGHING!"

"What's going on Kaiti? I'll be out in a second- I need to rinse the shampoo out of my eyes. Why are you screaming like that? Getting you fruit snacks does NOT qualify as a 'major emergency' so please don't scream for me like that again when I'm in the shower."

"Why do you always try to take your pants off? Why?"

"Who put the oatmeal on my side of the bed? Oh, well, thank you. Because, I didn't know it was a bedtime surprise, but yes, I love it."

"Why are you walking around with hair spray? Well, go get a swatter, but this is not what we use to kill flies."

"No, that's not a meteor. Because it looks exactly like a balloon. If it was a meteor, all these people would be running for their lives, that's how I know."

---and making a special guest appearance, one of Jack's doctors, 'cause I love ya'------

"Oh, wait. I think I found it. Yep..... I think..........hang on..........yep, there it is! The second testicle! Wonderful!!!'

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