a baby I'm a makin'.....

I had my OB appt. today to definitively confirm my due date since there was such a difference between my LMP (most of my girlfriends know what that means, and I don't think anybody else really wants to know) and my first ultrasound-- almost a month difference.

Honestly, I was just happy to see my little one again. And see the baby we did! This child, at 12 weeks old, was kicking moving, flopping, waving. It was crazy. I can say that, without a doubt, I have never seen that much activity with any of my other little ones. Even my OB laughed at how she never had such a hard time getting an accurate crown to rump measurement at this stage of the game. It was so neat- and even neater for the kids and Jeremiah to see. Of course, Jack did not care. He just wanted to rip the latex gloves out of their compartment. But the kids got great big smiles as they watched their baby brother or sister practice acrobatic stunts way beyond their capabilities. It was the family's first glimpse of this new child, and it was a very special moment.

I did ask if they would let me attempt a VBAC. Shy of laughing, she said absolutely not. Based on my first experience with Tyler, and the fact that I have had 3 previous c-sections, she said it was out of the question. I was bit disappointed, but since there is nothing I can do to change it, there is no point in hanging my head. See, Tyler had to come out via emergency c-section because his heart rate dropped very low....this was at hour 22 of labor, and still no epidural for me. And Kaiti, well, with her I was told that based on the incision and notes from the OB that delivered Tyler they medically recommended another c-section for my safety and that of the baby. Enough said. And Jack had to be a c-section because of his heterotaxy syndrome-- they wanted to take him before I labored on my own, in a controlled environment with a team of prepared doctors ready to care for him. So, there you have it. I would be lying if I said having my uterus cut open a 4th time didn't scare me. But I hate that having c-sections would determine how many children we could welcome into our family. So, with prayer, we go forward.

Back to the baby. The baby that I hoped would be a girl. (Yes, I know that is probably a thought I should keep in my heart and not whisper aloud, but then I would be speaking dishonestly.) Today, when looking at the ultrasound screen, I had a very strong feeling that little thing squirming anxiously in my womb was a boy. I have NEVER had a feeling like that before. Ever. People have asked me before if I had a feeling as to the gender, and sheepishly, I always replied no. Truth be told, I remember feeling betrayal that my motherly intuition, or mama radar, was low and not registering. I always heard my friends say with certainty, 'Oh, I know this one's a girl.' And I remember wanting to ask, 'Really? How? What should I look for? Is there something that showed you that?' Now, finally with baby # 4, I have finally felt that 'feeling'. But watch....I'll be wrong and feel like a dummy for posting this, and once again, be betrayed my mama radar.

Anyway, I told Kaiti that I had a feeling the baby is a boy, and she said, very firmly, 'Well, I don't want another boy. We have enough. It's only fair if we get a girl.' So I told her, for like the gajillionth time, that He gives us what He thinks our family needs, and we need to trust Him and what He knows to be best. My ever-so-stubborn daughter turned to me and said, 'Well than tell God we NEED a girl.' I turned my head so she would not see me smile. It wasn't as much what she said, but how adamantly she said it.

So, now we are talking names. I LOVE LOVE LOVE baby names. Really. Love 'em. But I am married to a man who isn't a big compromiser when it comes to names. I love him to pieces, but when it comes to choosing names, he's a real stick in the mud. And I am being kind. You can ask my sister. She'll tell ya. I am hoping to wear him down. We'll see. So, here are my top 9 names for boy and girl. The highlighted ones are the names Jeremiah approves of......

boy:

Eli

Lawson

Sawyer

Logan

Gage

Cullen

Reid

Sutton

Hudson

girl:

Autumn

Brooke

Meghan

Gillian

Laurel

Ainsley

Tarryn or Terra

Ivy

Ryan

I am guessing since neither of us have our heart set on a name, we will probably not choose until we meet the baby, and then maybe pick a name from our list. How big that list is, unfortunately, is up to my husband. Sigh. If only he would say, 'Babe, my gift to you is this- you name our child completely on your own, and whatever you choose I will love!' I wonder what the chances of THAT happening are? Don't answer!!

So say you all.....what do you think? Any suggestions?