Outta the mouths of babes.....

It's been a while since I have done one of these posts, and if your friends with me on The Twitter or The Schmacebook you know I tend to post funny things that come out of my kids mouths pretty regularly. I mean, this is why I have children.....kidding. But I certainly do appreciate the laughs. Kaiti supplies most of the laughs for this edition, but Tyler bookended it....

Tyler: Mom, today at school we learned about the body parts we use when we do exercise. Like when you ride a bike, you use your LONG and your SHORT legs to pedal.
Me: What? Your long and short legs? I'm confused.
Tyler: Yes, when we pedal, we use our long leg and our short leg.
Me: Tyler, our legs are the same length. There is not one that is longer. Otherwise, we'd all walk around a little weird.
Tyler: Mom, stop laughing. We have a long and short leg. We do. My teacher teacher told me.
Me: I will stop laughing, but when we get home I will you.
......about 10 minutes later from the backseat, he says quietly: "Okay, maybe I meant the top and bottom part of our leg."


Kaiti: I think we should have nine childrens in our family.
Me: Wouldn't that be so fun?
Kaiti: Yeah. We gotta tell Daddy when he gets home. And the shorter ones can just sleep under my bed.

Kaiti: Mommy, look at these tracks. They lead up to where I'm standing and are right where I just walked. And they're the same size as my cute shoes. And then they stop...... 
Me: Yep, those tracks are exactly where you just walked and then they stop completely where you are standing. I WONDER whose tracks those could be....
Kaiti: Hey!!! Wait a second!!!!  I bet they're MY TRACKS!!




While eating dinner we got from Sonic at the park, Kaiti looks down at her corndog, goes completely still, and looks at me with eyes as wide as saucers,  a terrified expression slowly transforming her face.
Kaiti: Mom, I'm eating a corndog.
Me: Yes. And I am eating tater tots. Now that we've established that......
Kaiti:I am eating a CORNDOG. Mom, what are corndogs made from? Not doggies. Right, Mom? There's no doggies in here. RIGHT??

Kaiti: I'm so excited for my field trip Mama! I get to ride on a bus, go to Asia, and see HORSIES!
Me: Asia? You're not going to Asia, honey.
(she looks at me like I just told her that corndogs are indeed made out of dogs)
Kaiti: Well, do I still get to ride the bus?


Kaiti: I wonder about when Daddy goes away if he goes to other countries and sees families and goes to their house and eats dinner with them to be their daddy for that night and then flies away in his helicopter.
Me: Yes, that is exactly what he does on deployment.


Kaiti: Tyler keeps talking to me about dinosaurs and I'm being sick of it. See-we-us-lee.


Kaiti: Wouldn't it be funny if you pretended like you there were was a computer and there really wasn't?
Me: What? I don't get it.
Kaiti: You know, if you were pretending like you were working at a computer, but there really wasn't one. Like at Publix.
Me: I'm confused.
Kaiti: MOOOMMMM! I SAID, wouldn't it be funny if you pretended you were typing at the store, and you were making like there was a computer there, but there really wasn't.
Me: Still don't get it, but I guess that would be funny.
Kaiti: It would be AWESOME.
(but actually, now that I picture me walking down the aisles of Publix typing away on a make believe computer, it does seem pretty funny.)

Tyler: Mom, today after resource I argued with a kid in my class.
Mom: About what?
Tyler: Well his name is JOOO-SSSS, and so that is what I called him, but he said that is not his name.
Me: What did he say his name was?
Tyler: Well, he said it's Jose, but when I read it, it looks like JOO-SSS, so I told him that his mom probably spelled it wrong. And then he got mad. But really mom, there is no A in his name (as he is laughing), so I don't know what he's talking about that his name is Jose. It's JOO-SSSS (he said it like juice but with an O).


Okay, I am going to admit something here, so please know, I have already sought forgiveness. I know it is terrible. And honestly, I didn't think I said it THAT loud.

So, while we are driving home from Kaiti's tumbling class, I am slowing down for a red light, the car behind me shoots out into the left lane, goes around me and totally cuts me off, causing me to SLAM on my brakes hard. All because apparently I was slowing down too much for him.
As I am slamming on my brakes I said, (deep breath, here goes...) 'Thanks A LOT.  Jack ass!!'
And from the backseat I hear Tyler say
"WHO, ME?????"

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