Have you ever said something to your child, heard it in your head, and realized just how ridiculous, silly, and completely illogical your life has become?
Here are some of the things that have come out of my mouth in the past week.......
'Why are the baby's teeth orange? Why did you give him a crayon? Well, just because I told you that they are not 'tossic' doesn't mean it's a good idea for a snack. Why don't you let mommy decide a good snack for the baby.'
(last night at my son't t-ball game) 'Kaiti, why are you walking around with a ton of dirty cups and straws. Well, that's nice that it is earth day honey, but I am not sure I want you putting your hands on things that have been in people's mouths. I know that your teacher told you to do your part, but picking up someone's half eaten ring pop isn't really your part.'
'Please take my bra off your brother's head. Yes, it is funny, but the people at the grocery store might not think so. I don't care if he likes it honey, that's not what little boys wear on their heads.'
'Why do you think your fish doesn't like Jack? WHAT?? Right NOW?? (Running back to Tyler's room) Tyler, the next time you see your little brother trying to stick a light saber in your fish bowl, please come and tell me.'
'No, that was not a real cow. Because real cows don't walk around on two legs. I don't know why the lady told you it was real. Kaiti, listen, I can assure you that real cows don't just walk around Chic Fil A on two legs at dinner time and let small children rub their bellies. Because I just now.'
'Please, please, PLEASE stop making that noise. Because I don't like it. No, I don't need to hear it more to like it. Kaiti, that noise is LOUD and not lovely and it's making me crazy. Fine, it is making me crazIER.'
'No, Sprite isn't really healthy. What I said was, Sprite can help settle your stomach if you're feeling sick. No, that does not make it healthy. I did tell you the truth. Water is the only really healthy drink. What? Umm, so in the past 30 seconds your belly started hurting so bad that you immediately need sprite- not buying it.'
'Please don't do that honey, it does not feel good. Well, pushing on my belly won't make Evelyne pop out. No, I have never tried it. I just know. Because I do-- it's not like she's inside a push-pop. I'm absolutely sure it won't work. Please just trust me on this. Okay.......fine......the next time I go in, I will ask my doctor for you.'
'How many pictures have you taken of yourself on my computer? Good grief. No, I am not going to print them all out. What does Mother's Day have to do with it? Honey, that's sweet, but I don't know if silly pictures you took of yourself is a good Mother's Day present for the kids in your class. Yeah, I think a card is enough.'
For more funnies, visit MckMama's post HERE!!
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