Monday, September 28, 2009

Not Me! Monday

A relative newbie to the blogosphere, this is my very FIRST Not Me! Monday post. After reading all the other posts, I wanted to let you know about all the things I have NOT been doing, 'cause you all know how together I am, right? If I, in fact, had done some less-than-stellar things, it might be liberating to blog about it and let the world know. But, since I did NONE of the things mentioned below, it certainly DOES NOT apply to ME!!

After a grueling day, an absent husband thanks to the darn flight schedule, and trying to make a dinner for 3 hungry children, I absolutely DID NOT just give up and pull Goldfish out of the pantry while I cowered on the kitchen floor for a couple minutes. I would NEVER concede defeat, and CERTAINLY NOT in front of my hungry, salivating children. It sure WASN'T ME who followed the goldfish up with some 20-second hot dogs and an invitation to pick whatever EASY treat my children desired. I'd NEVER stray from the nutritious standards I employ at EACH and EVERY meal.

Surely, it WASN'T ME who left a load of laundry in the washer overnight, rewashed it the next morning, forgot about until dinner, and then REWASHED it AGAIN before going to bed the next night. NO WAY!! NOT ME!!! I would NEVER be so wasteful or so absentminded to let a load of laundry sit for hours. I am far more together than that!

And I adhere to bedtimes, even on the weekends, so I can undisputedly say it WASN'T ME  who let my kids go wild at Al and Wendy's house, way past their bedtime, hoping they would conk out and sleep in the next morning. And you know me-- my children always are incredibly well-behaved, and I would NEVER allow them to run around a friend's house, screeching loudly as they went. NO SIR, NOT ME!  I am raising them better than that.

Just so you know, it WASN'T ME who rewarded my sweet daughter with chocolate, merely for looking cute in her ballet tutu. I WOULD NOT ever place value on looks, even if it was my own child looking sweet and precious as can be. I WOULDN'T DARE give her chocolate just because she is so dang cute, that she could have asked me for a pony and I would have logged on to craigslist looking for one. NOT ME!! Why, that would be improper and go against all my mothering values!

And, just to clarify, NO WAY would I be a little disappointed when something 'arrived' letting me know- concretely- that I am not, in fact, pregnant. And I DEFINITELY DID NOT follow that up with automated text messages to my husband letting him know exactly when I will be fertile, and for how long. Because I KNOW that everything happens when it's meant to happen, and I WOULD NEVER try to create a baby on my timing, rather than His timing. I WOULD NOT let a little 6 month deployment keep me from having a child without my husband present, because you KNOW I am SUPERMOM. I can handle anything hurtled at me, and I am always performing at 100%. If I had to give birth to a child (#4, no less) while my husband was floating around on some steel contraption in the middle of who-knows-where, I WOULD NEVER complain about the downfalls of being a military wife. NOT ME!!! So, then it goes without saying that a deployment assuredly WOULD NOT be a factor in pregnancy timing. 

I NEVER get frustrated, I NEVER lose my patience, I NEVER bend my own rules just a little, and I DO NOT fly by the seat of my pants DAILY. NO WAY!!!

NOT ME!!!!


Jennifer said...

Oh Shannon, NOT ME either..... cereal also makes a great dinner :) We need to revel in the fact that we are all super moms no matter what anyone one else says.

Toi said...

A Supermom knows, above all, how to make FUN. High five'n you on giving your kids a childhood they will treasure.

Evie's Story said...

Wonderful post Shannon! Very entertaining if you had done all this, which clearly, you DIDNT!


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