need him like I need chocolate

Ever get so busy and caught up in the day to day of things and realize that even though you sleep it the same bed, live in the same house, talk and see each other every day, you really miss your husband? Really, really miss your husband?

Well, I do. Especially right now.

It's especially ironic considering we just had a 4-day weekend together, thanks to the new year! I wish we had spent those hours and days cuddling and talking, hanging out and just being together. Instead, we were scrambling around, trying to get stuff picked up, put away, errands done, obligations met, and commitments attended to. It really wasn't all as monotonous as that sounded, but it is easy to overlook simple needs when you are busy with things like that.

And this morning I woke up finding myself really missing him. Like, teary missing him, almost. (Yes, I realize I am pregnant and my hormones may have taken control, but still....) So, in an attempt to rectify that, I called him and asked him what his schedule looked like, and suggested we have lunch together. I actually got really excited thinking about some time together with only one child present.

But he is flying back to back flights today, and he doesn't land until after 6.

So I guess I have to wait until after 6. Boo.

I kinda think feelings like this are similar to pregnancy cravings. From what I have read about pregnancy cravings, most of the time, at the root of a craving is a need that your body wants met. For example, I've heard if you are craving cheese, your body probably needs calcium. If you feel like you need to gulp down a bottle of water, it is probably because your body needs that water. And if you are drooling over a fat, juicy hamburger, your body needs the protein. I believe it, too. Though I am not sure what benefit my body gets from the chocolate cravings, but who am I to question my body, really?

So this feeling of missing my husband must be linked to some emotional or physical - ahem- craving that I need met. Are you with me? Maybe this is my head or heart's way of telling me to slow down and make some time for him. And with as much time as we spend apart, there is no doubt that we need to really covet the time we are together.

So, I might have the flake out on Bunco tomorrow. And I may have to cut my hours back on Saturday and enjoy some husband time. And I might even have to close the laptop tonight and cuddle into my cutie instead. And I might have to find some chocolate, too, since I need it and all.....

saying goodbye...

.....is the hardest thing to do. We said goodbye to the Kopsch family this weekend. Carrie has been such a wonderful friend the past few years and I am really going to miss her. The kids are equally sad. This family that we hung out with all the time when the guys were deployed became like family. We spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years together. We celebrated our children's birthdays, homecomings, the 4th of July, the beginning of summer, the end of summer, and anything else we felt was worth celebrating. Jacksonville will not be the same without them. What's more, this comes on the heels of saying goodbye to the Stonekings and the Falcks. The Navy creates this environment where deep bonds are formed, lasting friendships made. But it also pulls those relationships away. So sick of saying goodbye to my friends.

Uh. My husband totally ruined the moment.

I count them daily

I have been watching a lot of 'White Christmas'. 'Tis the the season, definitely. But, Christmas time or not, that movie warms my heart because it is something I grew up watching, something my parents, sister and I loved.

In one scene in that movie, Bing Crosby is sitting at the piano and sings a song. 'When I'm worried, and I can't sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep. And I fall asleep counting my blessings.' Yes, I know the lyrics are not particularly creative. Maybe that's why I love singing them. Or maybe it is just the recollection of Mr. Crosby's voice. Whatever. I sing that song a lot lately, both out loud and in my head. And I count my blessings not just to fall asleep. I count them on car rides. I count them while putting dishes away. I count them when I am in the shower. I coun-- oh----okay, you get it.

Today, I am counting them here.

My blessings............ the most amazing man in the world that I get to be married to.

These children, with their laughter, wit, and playful personalities, with minds and tongues that are sharp as tacks, that I get the pleasure of loving and growing.

My mom, who I believe is loving me, loving us, so completely from Heaven, and who used her time here on earth to teach us all what true, all encompassing, selfless love is.

My sister- our relationship is special and I have never felt closer to her than I have in the past few years, and she inspires me with the creative ways she parents and finds fun with her kids.

My dad and my mother-in-law, who treat my children like they are the most exceptional people they have ever met and smother them with love (in the most wonderful way).

 My friends, who let me talk and say what I have to say, and withhold judgement and opinions....most of the time :)

Carrie, Billie Jo, and Ellie, who shared a moment in time with me, who lifted me up when things were a struggle, with their words, phone calls, lunch dates, beach dates, and everything in between. Their company, their friendship filled voids when Jeremiah was away from us.

My God, who loves me unconditionally, who believes in me when I have given Him reason to question, and knows me and knows my heart. He who has blessed me tremendously and He who has given me an eternal place in His home.

My hands, which are not particularly skilled at any one thing, but are crafty enough to fashion bows and tutus for my only daughter, tickle my littlest to sleep, and build forts cool enough to make my oldest think I am amazing.

My home. It may not be the biggest, the newest, or outfitted with the greatest appliances, but it is where I have brought all three children home, have welcomed family, and provided a place for game nights, thrown birthday parties, poker nights, and countless playdates with those who are dearest to me. It has protected me from ravaging storms, cooled me from the sweltering summer heat, and kept us safe and comforted me within its walls while my husband was in a land far away.

But , if I am being truly honest, there are other less conventional, less sugary-sweet, blessings I count, too.

Those other blessings.....my job. Not because I feel blessed to be working, to be using my brain, to be earning money in these challenging economic times, but because (again, I am being VERY forthcoming) it is nice to have a 4-hour break from my kiddos once a week. Forgive me. And I am thankful for being pregnant, because for 9 months I am not focused on losing weight, but on growing a child. Again, forgive me. I am thankful for blogger. Because here I can have a voice, share, vent, and just quitely let my thoughts be known and do not have to see the faces of those reading.....cause lets face it, if I were to say some of the things I have written to my mom's group, I am sure quite a few eyebrows would raise ;) I am thankful for whoever it was who decided to throw the sugar in while the water was still boiling when creating sweet tea. That little step has created the most delightful beverage, one that can turn a shabby day bright and sunny. And, finally, I am thankful for the kids that throw tantrums at grocery stores, shopping malls, restaurants, and parks. Because they make me feel like I am not such a terrible mama after all, and remind me that we all are human, and as mama's, we cannot maintain control and order all the time. Again, forgive me.

There you have it. Still love me?

'When you're worried, and you can't sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep. And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings.'


Gosh, I love that Bing.

Not ME! Monday....a quickie!!

Time for my weekly non-admission. Are you ready? 'Cause I am making this one short and sweet. Short for sure. Sweet....well, you be the judge.

This morning, I promise, I did NOT consider homeschooling the kids, if only to avoid the mad rush out the door and give myself some extra time to sleep in my nice warm bed. What's that you say- that's no reason to homeschool your children! Of course I know that! That's why I said I did 'NOT' consider it......

After piling all the kids in the car, swaddled in layers and layers of our warmest clothing (it was 21 degrees this morning in good ol' SUNNY Florida!!), I did NOT realize I had yet to change out of my pj's. To rectify that quickly, I did NOT put some lipgloss on simply grab a very cute cardigan to put on over my pj top, figuring everyone driving would only see mid-level chest on up. Waist-up I looked aptly groomed and ready to roll....only to discover I desperately needed gas. So, if you happened to be driving down Merrill Road this morning and saw a woman with dazzling lip gloss dressed in a lovely sweater atop flannel, pink plaid pajama pants and fuzzy black slippers, well, you can be sure it was NOT ME!!!

And since I learn from the crazy situations I tend to put myself in, I certainly did NOT come home, hang my sweater up, hang out for 4 hours in my pjs, still showerless, only to grab the same adorable sweater and tube of lip gloss as I headed back out to retrieve my children.

NOPE!!! NOT ME!!